Sunday, July 25, 2010

How to Apologize like a Celebrity

In the last few weeks, two famous celebrities i.e. Cut Tary and Luna Maya have offered apologies for the circulation of Videos showing women who look like them having sex with Ariel the singer of the band Peterpan.

Tary admitted that she played in the sex video, but Luna denied. While Ariel never say anything to the public since the Police arrested him on on 22 June, on charges of violation of the Pornography Law.

The way they apologized reminded me of an article that I read in the Toastmasters magazine titled "How to Apologize Like a Celebrity" written by Chris Witt (www.lifeafterpowerpoint.com) about five most common ways celebrities apologize :

Blame the Other Person:
Start by saying sorry then shift the focus from your actions to the other person's reactions. Make it sound as if the other person's thin-skinned sensibilities, outdated notions of fairness and decency, or failure to understand what you really meant - not your misdeeds - are the real culprits. The common ploy lets you sound like you're apologizing without requiring you to express regret. If you're clever enough, you may even get people to apologize to you.

Offer an Excuse:
If you can't blame someone else, you can always blame extenuating circumstances, you can point a finger at any number of situations beyond your control : the weather, the economy, the fickleness of computers, the sorry state of the world we live in or the stress of having to much to do.

Use the Passive Voice:
The passive voice is a key to apologizing like a celebrity. For example, say: "Mistakes were made" not "I made a mistake". Say: "There was an error of judgement" not "I was wrong".

Delay as Long as Possible:
You may feel inclined - decent people often do - to offer an apology the moment you realize you've done something wrong. Avoid saying anything at all. Wait and see how things play out. Maybe people will forget about what you did, or maybe someone else will do something even wore. Then you're off the hook.

Hide Your Feelings:
If you feel remorse, regret or even guilt because of what you've done - people with a conscience often do,
make sure no one knows it. Make apology the way sincere people do, accept responsibility, offer to make amends. Ask for understanding and forgiveness. But make it sound as if you don't believe what you're saying.
Speak in a monotone, avoid eye contact, and never reveal a heartfelt emotion.

Now that we know how celebrities do it, we will surely be able to discover some more appropriate words and actions that will enable us to receive Forgiveness.

10 comments:

Rob Baiton said...

@ Harry...

I have noticed that a number of your posts have mentioned toastmasters. I cannot remember if you were a member, are you?

I have always wondered whether they need to apologise at all.

H. Nizam said...

Hi Rob,

I joined Jakarta Toastmasters Club (oldest and largest in Indonesia) since Dec'04. Active in the organization until 2008, now just an ordinary member.
Re: the celebrity's apologies
When Hotman became Tary's lawyer he blamed Ariel's team, led by lawyer OC Kaligis, for procrastinating the case, and he said he will change all that. Soon after Tary apologized 2 x.

pj said...

Hehehe. I can imagine that more than a few politicans must have read the same article. A certain ex-justice minister comes to mind.

H. Nizam said...

Hi PJ,
I am glad to see again.
Yeah the politicians incl former Justice minister must have read the same article.

colson said...

Maybe anonymous people like me can use these apology strategies too if in trouble with family, friends or at work..

For the rest I can best quote Rob Baiton: "I have always wondered whether they need to apologise at all".

H. Nizam said...

Hi Colson,

Hmmm .... suitable for anonymous people when in trouble.
As I have said, in the case it was the lawyer of one of the lady who suggested the idea. Now she's urging him to ask the police to discharge her.

Saung Web said...

Wows it's splashy news this month

H. Nizam said...

Saung Web,
Yes its a very sensational news for this month.

bujju said...

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H. Nizam said...

Bujju,
Thank you for coming